Relationship Advice for Setting Realistic Expectations

Posted on 11. Aug, 2011 by in relationship advice

We all enter into our relationships with high expectations. Why shouldn’t we? This is a very positive aspect of human nature. It makes no sense to have low expectations for our relationship; in fact, that would be counterproductive. Unrealistically high expectations, on the other hand, set our relationship up for failure. They set our partner up for not being able to deliver on a promise they either have not made or are incapable of delivering on.

Having unrealistic expectations for your relationship practically guarantees disappointment, anger, bitterness and ultimately failure.

After a relationship has lost its novelty, and the honeymoon phase is long gone, deep feelings of resentment, disappointment and anger towards our partner often emerge if you or your partner has set up unrealistic expectations for each other and your relationship.

Unrealistic expectations leave a trail of broken promises and an array of negative feelings between partners.

In order to avoid this disastrous situation, you must remember one thing. When you are setting up expectations for your relationship, it is imperative that you have a realistic understanding of what you are most likely to receive based upon a true assessment of who your partner really is – not who you want them to be! This will allow you to create realistic goals for your relationship based on solid and healthy expectations. It is great to set high expectations, as long as these expectations are grounded in a realistic framework. We do not aspire to become a biologist if we are not good in science. We do not aspire to have a singing career if we cannot hold a musical note. And we cannot expect from our partner a lifestyle or behavior of which they are just not capable of providing.

Remember, when setting expectations for your relationship, you must be realistic. Your partner’s innate qualities and capabilities will not change because you set unrealistic expectations for them. Realistic expectations will help to create a lifetime of love and happiness in your relationship and avoid unnecessary disappointment and resentment.

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com
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8 Responses to “Relationship Advice for Setting Realistic Expectations”

  1. ella

    15. Aug, 2011

    Very very useful post, it’s so true, we have to look at ourselves instead of trying to think that the other person will change to become someone perfect.
    ella´s last blog post ..An Event Proposal Template You Can Use

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  2. Dr. Patty Ann

    15. Aug, 2011

    Hi Ella,

    Thank you for your comment. Yes, the only person we can hope to change and set realistic expectations for is ourself!

    Dr. Patty Ann
    Dr. Patty Ann´s last blog post ..Conflict Resolution Skill #4 for Entrepreneurs, Women and Business

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  3. Anna

    18. Aug, 2011

    I think that it is so important to know who your partner really is – not who you want them to be, and to act according to this principle. it can be very helpful.
    Anna´s last blog post ..The best way to meet guys

    Reply to this comment
  4. Erin

    21. Aug, 2011

    All the bad qualities that we can say about our partner is actually our bad, we need to work with our self to see things as they really are in the present moment and not what we expected it to be, thank you Patty.
    Erin´s last blog post ..Golf Swing Tempo Drills -Basic Drills to Improve Your Golf Swing Tempo

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  5. Dr. Patty Ann

    21. Aug, 2011

    Hi Anna,

    Thank you for your comment. Many times we don’t realize we do not see our partner for who they really are and it creates much dissatisfaction in our relationships. I am hoping this article will clear this issue up for couples!

    Dr. Patty Ann
    Dr. Patty Ann´s last blog post ..Conflict Resolution Skill #5 Needed for Success in Business and Life

    Reply to this comment
  6. Dr.Patty Ann

    21. Aug, 2011

    Hi Erin,

    Thank you for your insight – and you are right on target! It is more productive to work on ourselves to create self-improvement. Be realistic with who you are – and your expectations – and start from their for resolving all conflicts.

    Dr. Patty Ann
    Dr.Patty Ann´s last blog post ..Conflict Resolution Skill #5 Needed for Success in Business and Life

    Reply to this comment
  7. Jardin Smith

    23. Aug, 2011

    Hi Dr Patty Ann,

    It’s me again.

    I agreed with you on the realistic expectation on the relationship.

    Many always expect very high/unobtainable expectations that will only make you disappointed in the end.

    I do hope my partner can understand me, love my family. That is sufficient!
    Jardin Smith´s last blog post ..Jardin Smith International

    Reply to this comment
  8. Dr.Patty Ann

    23. Aug, 2011

    Dear Jardin,

    Thanks for your comments! They are always welcome! I, too, hope your partner can understand and love your family – some families are easier to love than others though -LOL!

    Dr. Patty Ann
    Dr.Patty Ann´s last blog post ..Conflict Resolution Skill #5 Needed for Success in Business and Life

    Reply to this comment

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