3 Ridiculous Relationship Myths

Posted on 10. Jun, 2010 by in Uncategorized

It is amazing how many myths are out there for keeping romance alive in your relationship. Woman’s magazines, radio talk shows, TV shows and newspapers are filled with inaccurate information dealing with relationship advice, some of which includes the topics of  how to keep your romance alive, how to keep your man happy, how to skyrocket your sex life, how to…, how to…, how to…and on and on and on. And what is so incredible is that so much of this information is wrong, false, and inaccurate and yet it abounds in mythical proportions. I often wonder if their is there some “myth maestro” out there who spends his days and nights making up all sorts of crap about everything under the sun. Then he throws this absurd information out there –  “spins it off as truth” and then watches as  peoples relationships unravel within the midst of all this erroneous information.

Regardless of their origins, relationship myths, much to my consternation, negatively impacts your relationship – and that, to me, is totally unacceptable. Throughout my years helping couples increase intimacy and romance in their relationships, I have seen first hand the chaos and damage these relationship myths have created.

So today I am going to debunk 3 common, and what I believe to be ridiculous relationship myths that I have heard and/or read throughout the years – and ones that I know you have heard too! After having read this article, it is my hope that your relationship will not fall prey to all the false information out there on how to increase romance and intimacy in your relationship!

Myth #1 Never go to bed angry with each other. Are you kidding me? Relationships are not TV shows where all issues get wrapped up and resolved within a one hour time frame ( which is really a twenty – forty minute time frame if you include all the commercials). Some – if not most – important relationship issues are just too impossible, complicated or emotionally – driven to be resolved within 24 hours. Thinking you “should not” go to bed angry at each other because that is what the “experts” told you, often leaves you getting angrier and angrier at each other as you attempt to resolve an emotional issue before you go to bed. I would love to hear from all the couples out there how often that approach has worked for you in the past? Yeah, I didn’t think it did.

Therefore, I often advice couples to stop trying to resolve an issue that appears to be particularly difficult for one reason or another and just go to bed – even if you are pissed off at each other. Sleep on it and then re-visit the issue when clearer heads prevail. It is amazing how much a good night’s sleep can put things in a better perspective in the morning.

Myth #2 Happy couples never fight. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. Happy couples do fight; in fact, it is the manner in which a couple fights that determines their happiness. The ability to communicate your differences with respect and understanding are the qualities that happy couples exhibit when they fight.

Healthy happy couples stick to the issue at hand and do not engage in what I refer to as “character assassination”, i.e. name calling, yelling and screaming at each other and false accusations that their partner’s position or opinion is “stupid”, “dumb” or “just plain wrong”.

Also, when happy couples fight, they realize there are some issues that they will never see eye to eye on.  These couples understand that all differences can not, in fact, be resolved. Therefore, happy couples “agree to disagree respectfully” and then move on.  In other words they accept the fact that sometimes, It is what it is.

Myth #3 Happy couples share ALL their feelings and emotions with each other ALL the Time. Not exactly. In my humble and professional opinion, nothing could be further from the truth and more damaging to a relationship. There is no one, and I mean absolutely no one, with whom I would want to share all of my thoughts and feelings with all of the time. Many feelings are personal and should be kept that way. Does your partner really need to know that you don’t like something that they absolutely treasure?  Share your  feelings and emotions with an understanding of how they will impact your partner. Communicating feelings and information which will only cause hurt and pain, for no good reason, does not make any sense – so keep it to yourself!

WIth all of the above said,  I hope some of the pressure is off you trying to do the impossible in your relationship!  Remember, if you want to increase romance and happiness in your relationship it is really okay to go to bed angry with each other; happy couples do, indeed, fight but they fight fair, and finally, happy couples do not, in fact, share all their feelings and emotions with each other all the time!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com
www.drpattyann.com/blog
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13 Responses to “3 Ridiculous Relationship Myths”

  1. Lisa Manyon

    10. Jun, 2010

    Dr. Patty Ann,

    I think it is FANTASTIC that you dispel these relationship myths. FINALLY regular people can fee good about the state of their relationships and have no nonsense, straight talk from you (someone who actually walks her talk).

    RIGHT on!~~

    Lisa

    Reply to this comment
  2. Sue Painter

    10. Jun, 2010

    I particularly like the busting of myth #3. In the name of ‘sharing” much wounding has been done.
    Sue Painter

    Reply to this comment
  3. Carmen@GetOrganized

    11. Jun, 2010

    I agree with you on all counts, especially #2! I think it makes the relationship stronger, given that you fight and FORGET it afterward. No wallowing! 🙂 -Carmen
    .-= Carmen@GetOrganized´s last blog ..Get Organized: Bye, Bye Drop Zone! =-.

    Reply to this comment
  4. Now that I have more wisdom earned by the years I have been around, I look at the magazines at the grocery store check out stand and have to laugh or snort to myself at the titles of articles on the covers. Of course the inference is they are written by experts. A ficticious name with a bunch of capital letters after it does not an expert make!

    Thank you for debunking at least three of the myths out there Dr. P.

    Lynn
    .-= Get Clear Goals with Lynn Moore´s last blog ..How Dare They Judge You! =-.

    Reply to this comment
  5. Rosemary Bredeson

    11. Jun, 2010

    Thanks for getting the word out that these beliefs are relationship myths! I’m especially happy to see that Myth #1 is on the list – it’s important to change states from the argument state and often times going to sleep brings a whole new energy to problem solving.

    Blessings,
    Rosemary

    Reply to this comment
  6. Anita G. Wheeler

    11. Jun, 2010

    Dr. Patty Ann,

    You really hit the nail on the head in dispelling myths that we have heard and read about for years. I love your straightforward advice and truly look to see what is next on the “relationship” front every week.

    Fondly…Anita

    Reply to this comment
  7. Linda P. Jones

    13. Jun, 2010

    Dr. Patty Ann,
    Once again, you give great advice! I always thought that was weird to say “never go to bed angry” too. Thanks for dispelling the myths!
    Linda

    Reply to this comment
  8. Heidi Alexandra Pollard

    14. Jun, 2010

    Dr Patty Ann
    Your business card should read: Myth Buster, Woman of Substance, Straight Shooter.
    I love the realism you bring to life!
    Heidi Alexandra

    Reply to this comment
  9. Phil Dyer

    15. Jun, 2010

    Hah! I really love #3…thanks for blowing that one up 😉

    Thanks for de-bunking some commonly held “wisdom”!

    Phil
    .-= Phil Dyer´s last blog ..The Power of the Kolbe Assessment =-.

    Reply to this comment
  10. Katherine C. H. E.

    15. Jun, 2010

    I just love reading your posts, EACH and EVERY time — such great wisdom shared with such passion. THANK YOU. I particularly loved today: “Sleep on it and then re-visit the issue when clearer heads prevail. It is amazing how much a good night’s sleep can put things in a better perspective in the morning.” So, so true!! XOXO, Katherine
    Life Blossoming Systems

    Reply to this comment
  11. Laura Hollick

    17. Jun, 2010

    thanks for enlightening me on the real scoop with relationships.
    I find myself chuckling, because I’ve bought into some of these myths!

    Reply to this comment
  12. Lexine

    27. Mar, 2015

    A really good answer, full of raaiyntlito!

    Reply to this comment

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